C.B. v. N.I., 2022 NSSC 290

SUPREME COURT OF Nova Scotia Citation: C.B. v. N.I. , 2022 NSSC 290 Date: 20220901 Docket: SFHPSA , No. 107325 Registry: Halifax Between: C.B. Applicant v. N.I. Respondent Judge: The Honourable Justice Cindy G. Cormier Heard: February 14, 15, 16, & 17, 2022, in Halifax, Nova Scotia Final Written Submissions: February 25, 2022 for the Applicant February 28, 2022 for the Respondent Counsel: William Leahey, for the Applicant Kerri-Ann Robson, for the Defendant By the Court: Issues [ 1 ] In 2007, the parties, C.B. and N.I., began living together.

Their son was born in 2008 and their daughter was born in 2012. [ 2 ] In May 2017, the parties separated. Both were working full time and they agreed on a shared parenting arrangement for their children. Initially, they alternated time with the children in the family home on a “2, 2, and 3 day rotation.” They continued with the same

schedule when C.B. moved into her own home approximately five minutes from the family home. The parties shared the children’s child-care provider, and they at times attended their children’s medical appointments and school meetings together. [ 3 ] N.I. acknowledged there were some issues related to the number of transitions between the homes, but he stated that he believed the children appeared to enjoy spending time with both parties. Reports were received of historical and ongoing mostly verbal conflict between the parties, including conflict on social media.

N.I. acknowledged he has suffered from symptoms of ADD, he has experienced symptoms of anxiety, and he has suffered from “a minor case of depression.” [ 4 ] Since June 2020, the parties’ children have lived with C.B. primarily. She takes the position that their children are afraid of N.I. and should not be forced to have contact with him. [ 5 ] N.I. has argued that C.B. has unilaterally and without good reason kept their children from him.

He is seeking: to have this Court find that C.B. has alienated the children from him; order C.B. to pay fines for denying him his parenting time; and order that the children be placed primarily with him on an interim basis until his relationship with the children is restored. N.I. is open to a review of the children’s circumstances to determine if a return to a shared parenting arrangement is in their children’s best interests. [ 6 ] C.B. was initially requesting retroactive child support for the period when she initially suggested the children resided primarily with her: August 2017 – April 2018.

On February 7, 2022, C.B. filed a “child support table” with her pre-trial brief. The parties adopted the figures included in that table, including the figures provided for the parties’ incomes; however, the parties did not come to an agreement with respect to whether the Court should use its discretion to retroactively calculate child support. [ 7 ] N.I. acknowledged that C.B. had primary care of the children in April 2018 and then again after June 2020. N.I. relied on an earlier finding by the Court in April 2018 that the parties had a shared parenting arrangement except in April 2018.

N.I. relied on the Interim Consent Order (Support) granted in June 2019 to support his argument that the parties had agreed to use the “set-off” only to determine child support. N.I. argued that the Interim Consent Order (Support) did not reference any future retroactive calculation and that I should not recalculate child support before June 2020. He suggested that because of the parties’ previous agreement to share the care of their children and because of C.B.’s unilateral denial of his parenting time, he should not have to pay the table amount of child

support. [ 8 ] C.B. has asked the court to order N.I. to pay any retroactive award of child support with the $25,000.00 held in trust following the division of the parties’ property. 1 Parenting 1.1 Facts 1.1.1 R's wishes, circumstances, and disclosures to third parties [ 9 ] R was almost 14 years old at trial in February 2022. He is more than four years older than his sister. He is a teenager who has enjoyed baseball and playing with his friends. R’s therapist, Dr. C testified as a fact witness only. He worked with R September 21, 2020 through November 1 st , 2021. Dr.

C was not asked to provide any reunification counseling. C.B. often attended R’s counseling sessions with him. [ 10 ] On April 19, 2018, R was interviewed by a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection. The following is a

summary of some relevant portions of a case recording report from the interview which was produced contemporaneously: R stated that when he gets in trouble at his mother’s house, she tells him what not to do. That he gets along with his dad sometimes, but his dad sometimes gets ‘really mad’ at E. That ‘really mad’ means ‘being fussy, yelling very loud, screaming, and swearing.’ That a long time ago, his dad was trying to put boots on E, but they didn’t fit, so he got mad and threw the boots against the wall.

The Minister’s representative asked R about an alleged incident at a Scout meeting and R stated: His dad was not allowed to go to any more Scout meetings because he yelled at them before, however, he came to this meeting. His dad got fussy and was yelling at the Scout leaders. His dad was mostly yelling at his (R’

s) mom’s friend. He was present for half of this as after his dad started yelling, he took his sister into the gym. E was frightened and crying. He saw 3 marks on the window which he believes were from his dad trying to keep himself inside the room. He could still hear his dad yelling from the gym. Police took his dad out of the room. That this makes him feel sad for the people his dad is yelling at because he doesn’t like to see other people upset. That he felt unsafe at the meeting because of all the yelling from his dad.

That his dad loses his temper a lot, he gets mad for no reason sometimes, and he yells loudly. After his dad yells, he will go back upstairs. That his dad swears, and he will sometimes throw things, and R provided the example of E’s boots. That his dad pushes his mom out of the way when they are getting picked up or dropped off for visits. That he sees this happen a lot. That his dad has never pushed himself or E, and his dad will only yell and scream at them when he is mad.

R went on to disclose to the representative that: …he “doesn’t feel comfortable talking to his dad” … but that if he had 3 wishes he would “wish for his family to be back together in the same house, for there to be no more arguing, and that this never happened.” It is not unusual for children experiencing difficulties within their family of origin to still wish to have that family remain together. [ 11 ] The Minister of Community Services contacted R’s babysitter to inquire about R’s circumstances.

R’s babysitter suggested that R: gets very upset; worries a lot; struggles with conflict; and that R would go over to the babysitters’ home and sometimes cry because of the conflict between his parents. R’s babysitter reported that R had recently yelled at some of the children when they were arguing and said: “I can’t take fighting, I hear it all the time,” and he became very upset. The babysitter observed that R did not have any positive coping skills and would yell when he is “upset and triggered.” [ 12 ] In July 2018, a representative from the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection spoke with R.

The case recording report indicates R stated in part: He recently was at baseball and his mother went with him. When his mom went to hug him, his dad blocked her, got in the way, and pushed his mom with his hands. When R was asked how N.I. pushed C.B. he stated with open hands towards his mother’s upper chest / collarbone area…it was after his baseball game and his mom went to drop R off at the Tim Horton’s to meet up with his dad and E. He stated it happened by the door of the car. His parents argued a lot. For example, they argue about where the kids are supposed to be. Both parents yell at each other.

Sometimes this happens when his mom and dad are sitting in front of the car and E and R are sitting in the back. His father yelled really loud. When asked a scaling question from 1 – 10, R gave his father an 8. When asked about his mother yelling, he gave her about a 4. R stated that is dad will yell at E and R when their mother gets close to them.

His mom also yelled at his dad. The last time was two weeks ago. The incident when his dad pushed his mom was within the past two weeks. E, his mom, his dad, and R were present when dad pushed mom. Mom told R someone reported his dad for being mean and E overhead and got upset and said she did not want dad to go to jail. E cried a lot and over everything. When R was asked if he ever felt unsafe, he stated one time when his dad was going to court, and they got stuck in traffic. R reported that N.I. got mad, turned off the phone, went really fast, and then stopped the car abruptly.

N.I. then swore and said the “f-word.” R suggested this was a long time ago…indicating his dad got mad a lot when driving and swore at people… [ 13 ] In August 2018, R was interviewed by a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, and he stated in part: … His visit with dad was good. He thought they were staying at the lake longer, but his dad got mad, yelled at his Nan, and they left. He felt scared when this happened. … Mom and dad are still not getting along. Mom will not talk to E or R long on the phone when he’s at his dads’. Dad feels that C.B. does not like him.

Mom would text R on the phone, but his dad did not like this and got mad. Dad told him on the way to the lake to tell mom to get off her phone because he thinks mom is texting other guys. When asked about how R knew this, he stated he has heard mom and dad talk about how dad felt she was on her phone too much and texting guys. R heard them talk about it while the four of them were in the car. This was about two months ago. Yesterday dad was sick, so his mom came to get them at dad’s house.

Dad started yelling at his mom about coming to the house to pick up them up because usually pick up and drop offs were at Tim Horton’s. …R stated that dad texted off R’s phone, but his mom did not text off R’s phone. Mom gets messages from dad on her phone which include f-bombs. … He was going back to his dad’s next week and was excited that they were going to Halifax to the Atlantic Hotel as there was fun things to do there.

I accept R’s evidence as disclosed to the Minister’s representative and find it was inappropriate for N.I. and C.B. to place R in the middle of their conflict. [ 14 ] On October 3, 2018, the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, interviewed the children. E did not disclose any relevant concerns. R stated in part: … He enjoys staying at his dads’ but doesn’t like that his dad yells at him when he is running late getting ready in the morning.

R also stated that his dad sometimes yells at his mom, however he stated that this hasn’t happened for over a month” … I accept that there were periods when N.I. and C.B. were better able to manage their relationship and that the parties were not continually embroiled in conflict, but I find there was a consistent pattern of conflict. [ 15 ] On November 26, 2018, representatives from the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, interviewed E and R.

E did not share any concerns, indicating that her time with her father was “awesome.” When asked how his weekend was with his father, R stated in part: …that it was good, but that his dad yelled a lot…that when his dad yells it scares him and that he feels sad for his sister. When this happens, he goes upstairs into his room and closes the door to get away from the yelling.

R said that his dad yelled at him and his friends when they needed help fixing the X-box, and when his bouncy-ball hit the wall and broke the clock… R stated that it had been getting better but is still not good… The evidence supports a conclusion that although there were times when the conflict between N.I. and C.B. lessened, that N.I.’s parenting style, which often included yelling at the children, did remain consistent. [ 16 ] On February 5, 2019, R and E’s guidance counselor contacted a representative of the Minister of Community Services. She stated in part:

… She was concerned about something R disclosed to her that day but also that the children are both fearful of their dad and present as very anxious. That day R told her that on Sunday while visiting with his dad he was pushing the table to move it and his dad got angry because it made a loud noise. R told his guidance counselor that his dad yelled and screamed at him. R told his guidance counselor that he only wants to see his dad when his dad isn’t angry. He also reported observing his dad giving his mom the middle finger while they were driving in a car together.

R was scheduled to get teeth removed at the IWK the following day and told his guidance counselor that he would be staying with his dad after the surgery, and R was fearful. I find that C.B. was most likely encouraging the children to speak to third parties about their stated fears and she did so because she was concerned about the children. On a balance of probabilities, I find it is more likely than not that the children’s disclosures reflect their own feelings and experiences around the time they provided the information to third parties. [ 17 ] I accept that R and E were afraid of their father’s outbursts.

I also accept that the children’s guidance counselor observed that they presented as “very anxious.” Regardless of what factors were contributing to the children’s apparent discomfort, I find that both R and E required support to address their fears and anxieties and that their father’s parenting style combined with the parties’ conflict was likely exacerbating their symptoms. [ 18 ] I accept that despite their expressed fears, that the children also enjoyed a lot of their time with N.I.

The concern is that N.I. consistently became frustrated in many situations and created an overall environment where the children never knew when he would yell, throw something, or become emotionally dysregulated. [ 19 ] On April 16, 2019, R’s guidance counselor contacted a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, expressing concern about R and E being “traumatized when they are with N.I.” The guidance counselor reported that she does not prompt R and that he seeks her out in school.

She stated that R comes to her about every two weeks “to tell her things that have happened with dad.” The guidance counselor reported in part that R had shared that: dad had a very angry telephone call that R overheard…he was screaming, yelling, and cursing while the door was open…on another occasion E got out of the truck and she knocked over N.I.’s coffee and N.I. started yelling and slammed the door to the truck…R said dad is rude – he gives the finger to people…R expressed that he doesn’t want to upset N.I. and he would feel best not to see N.I.

The guidance counselor observed that the children were telling her that N.I.’s behaviour was a problem for them. She further observed further that they are not focused at school and that E seems like she is in a daze. [ 20 ] The guidance counselor did not testify, but her observations were communicated to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection. Her concerns were documented in the Minister’s business records. As a third-party professional referral source, I find that the guidance counselor did not have “a horse in this race” and she also had very relevant experience.

I found her observations as recorded in the Minister’s business records to be relevant and reliable. [ 21 ] In other words, there is no reason for the guidance counselor to exaggerate or to take time to make a referral to the Minister unless she has a significant concern.

School officials have contact with hundreds and sometimes thousands of children and parents, and, if through observation, a school official identifies there may be a problem with a child’s homelife, this is another piece of evidence I must consider. [ 22 ] On April 17, 2019, a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, interviewed E and R. E did not disclose any concerns.

R did share the following: That he was with his dad on the weekend and that there was a lot more yelling than usual…he overheard his dad on the phone yelling at someone on Friday, but didn’t know what happened…another time he was filling up his water bottle when he was supposed to be in bed and dad came and yelled at him and broke the railing…in addition they went to the skatepark and he was getting E’s scooter out of the car and E spilled N.I.’s coffee and then dad slammed the car door on Saturday…R was worried that he would be in trouble for sharing this …R said he feels bad that he doesn’t want to go to his dad’s sometimes and doesn’t want his dad to be sad.

I accept R’s statements to the Minister’s representative: that his father did something to the railing, suggesting N.I. might have broken it, and on another occasion, R felt his father slammed the car door in anger in response to E spilling his coffee. R’s comment that he “was worried that he would be in trouble for sharing this” is consistent with what one would expect from a child who is seeking support but genuinely worried about how his father might react. [ 23 ] I find it is more likely than not that N.I. had warned the children not to report concerns to their mother or any other support persons.

It is more common for children to try to protect their parents and for them to want to continue to see their parents, despite any risk of being exposed to an abusive environment.

[ 24 ] On September 14, 2019, W.G., the children’s counselor at that time, reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, that R was clear that “he wishes to spend time with his father” … “he was also clear that, at times, he becomes concerned about his father’s reactions towards him.” WG stated: N.I. is encouraged to continue his personal work on emotional regulation as his children at times perceive him as angry which concerns them. This is important work for N.I. to continue as it could have more of a negative effect on his relationship with his children in the future.

R also discussed his confusion regarding his involvement, at least emotionally, in their conflict. R was tearful when he discussed not knowing what is the truth sometimes. R was often on edge and felt as though he needed to report certain information and / or as if he had done something bad. … When counseling began, E’s dependency on R was evident and equally clear was R’s need for healthy boundaries with his sister, so they both could develop independently. [ 25 ] On October 17, 2019, a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, met with R.

R reported no issues at that time; “he informed it was going well at both houses.” [ 26 ] In March 2020, the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, received referral information from R’s school principal. She reported in part that R: …came in distressed today and said he wants to live more time with his mother, but doesn’t want to tell his father and hurt his feelings. The school principal reported that R said his mother told him now that he has turned twelve, he is old enough to make the decision about where he wants to live… Children get a voice but not a choice.

I accept that C.B. told R he could decide where he wanted to live. It was wrong of her to do so. [ 27 ] On June 25, 2020, R’s therapist, J.B., reported that C.B. had arranged for the children to see her as C.B. was concerned about what R and E were reporting to her. R had shared the following: That the previous Sunday his father got into a heated fight with R’s uncle C. That R and E were quite fearful due to the adults yelling and screaming, so they ran into the woods. When they were in the woods R heard his paternal grandmother scream and then heard a loud “thud” sound.

That R is worried that his father may have pushed his paternal grandmother. That his father then came out of the home screaming and cursing at the other adults present. That his father then started screaming and cursing at R and E to get “in the fucking car”. That R saw his father kicking and punching his own truck, and that N.I. threw items in the car resulting in E’s phone getting broken. R also made J.B. aware that his father threatened his brother (R’s uncle) when leaving and stated, “if you ever come near my kids again I’ll fucking kill you”.

R showed her a text message on Tuesday from his father that stated, “I’m sorry.” J.B. reported that she spoke with the children’s mother, C.B., who reported that N.I.’s mother “indicated that the children’s father had attempted suicide.” [ 28 ] I am not prepared to rely on reports by C.B. that N.I. has at times presented as suicidal. In the first instance, in 2017, when C.B. reported that N.I. was experiencing suicidal ideation, N.I. was seen by a health professional and discharged.

Subsequently, C.B.’s own therapist stated she understood N.I. had sought support when he was in distress, and she was not concerned about the possibility that N.I. would take his life. Without expert evidence, I am not prepared to find that N.I. was at any time experiencing suicidal ideation and at risk of physically harming himself or others; however, I do find that N.I. has often presented as highly emotional, raising concerns by some about his mental health. [ 29 ] A representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection interviewed the children and C.B. on June 25, 2020. The following is a

summary of some relevant portions of the interview with R: R explained that he was living mostly with his mother C.B. “until things get figured out.” That “his father uses bad words and stated that he was going to kill himself.” That his father “makes him nervous and he wants to go back when his mental health is better.” When asked what would happen when N.I. became angry R stated: when his sister was in trouble, that his father would ‘focus on him.’ When asked to provide an example R indicated E could not find her shoes and that he “yelled like crazy” and was sweating. That he felt nervous and scared.

That if he swore at his mother’s house he would be told to go to his room for 10 – 30 minutes but if he swore or hit at his father’s house he will get grounded for the day. That he felt safe with his mother and sometimes felt safe with his father. He did not feel safe at the lake when there are a lot of people around that he does not know.

There is some dispute with respect to where R obtained information suggesting his father was going to kill himself. R himself has told his father that C.B. was not influencing him and that C.I. told him she was concerned about N.I. [ 30 ] N.I. has suggested that C.B. has instilled an irrational fear in the children. C.B. suggested that N.I.’s mother, C.I., talked to R about N.I.s’ behaviour and that C.I. sought help for N.I. by calling the police.

I find it is likely a combination of both, with C.B. talking about N.I.’s behaviours within earshot of the children, and N.I.’s mother talking to R about her concerns for N.I. Either way, it would be very distressing for R or E to believe their father made a statement about wanting to end his own life, whether N.I. intended to follow through or not. [ 31 ] On July 27, 2020, R contacted the after-hours child protection referral line.

C.B. explained to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that she had suggested R contact the “Kids Help Phone,” and she was not aware R was calling child protection services. R reported “not wanting to go to his father’s home the following day.” The Minister determined they would not investigate further as R did not report any new concerns.

I find that on balance of probabilities, C.B. did encourage R to contact child protection services, however, I feel C.B.’s concerns were justified. [ 32 ] I do believe R was afraid to go to his father’s home for various reasons and that some of those reasons were valid reasons. N.I. has suggested R was afraid to go to his home because C.B. fed him lies about N.I. I find that N.I.’s behaviors contributed to R’s fear. I also accept that C.B. likely felt it was necessary to speak to the children about incidents when N.I. would yell and curse at her, others, or the children.

It would have been necessary for C.B. to explain to the children that N.I.’s behaviour was not justified under any circumstances, because it was not. The children also disclosed that C.B. yelled and fought with N.I. and I find that at times C.B. minimized her own involvement in the parties’ conflict, thereby exaggerating N.I.’s involvement. [ 33 ] R and E’s counselor reported to the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that C.B. had left her a message requesting further sessions for the children.

The counselor advised that “there were no child protection concerns” and if there were further issues that a Child Wishes’ Assessment could be requested. Further, she explained that she could recommend someone to complete the assessment and she could assist in formulating questions, but she could not complete the assessment herself. [ 34 ] The children’s counselors’ suggestion that she had no more “child protection concerns” does not result in a determination by this Court that there were no serious concerns.

It is often the case that the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, and other support providers, will determine that there are no more children protection concerns if the children are in the non-offending parents’ care exclusively, and the risk of harm is therefore mitigated. [ 35 ] In other words, if the non-offending parent is acting protectively by taking the necessary steps to ensure the children are not placed at risk, a service provider may close their file.

It is unclear to me whether this applies to the counselors’ comments in this situation, but a determination by her that there are no more “child protection concerns” does not end the inquiry by the court or replace the court’s determination which must be based on all the evidence, not only the information which may have been available to the children’s counselor. It is my responsibility alone to review all the evidence and to determine what the children’s best interests are. [ 36 ] In April 2021, C.B. MSW, RSW, prepared a Voice of the Child report.

She found R “was consistent in both meetings about how he felt with regards to his relationship with his father.” She noted that: R even said he was not comfortable with Zoom meetings with his father, as this had been attempted. CB’s recommendations included: 1. That R continue to live primarily at his mother’s home. 2. It would be beneficial for R to begin therapy to address his anxieties and fears surrounding his father. 3. That R have no forced contact with his father until such a time as R (in conjunction with the therapist) deem appropriate.

If the therapist at some point feels that family therapy with R and his father would be beneficial and appropriate, that R’s father participate in it. 4. It would be beneficial for R’s father to engage in his own individual therapy to address the concerns his son has with regards to their relationship. 5. That both parents recognize how much of an emotional strain that R feels about contact with his father. It is important that with this recognition that both parents work to put R’s needs first and address this fractured relationship.

The assessor, CB did state that R: Is still young and his views regarding his relationship with his father may change with age. It is important that his relationship with his father not be closed permanently, but that R’s wishes be respected by the adults in his life at this time. R’s mother, C.B., supports the assessor’s recommendation. I agree that R’s relationship with his father should not be closed permanently. 1.1.2 E’s wishes, circumstances, and disclosures to third parties [ 37 ] E was almost 10 years old at trial in February 2022. She is more than four years younger than her brother. While she is not yet

a teenager, she is a “tween”. E has also reported concerns about her father, and she has refused to have contact with him. [ 38 ] E engaged in therapy with W.G. in or around 2019. E then engaged in therapy with M.M., who is a clinical social worker providing individual counseling for children and teens. M.M. worked with E between October 2020 and June 2021. M.M. has described E as a child who struggles with sleep and flare ups of eczema.

M.M. also reported that E initially talked in counseling about “worries about her father going to her school to see her.” M.M. worked with E on “strategies to help her cope with tough feelings.” M.M. testified that E later became reluctant to speak about her father in her therapy sessions. [ 39 ] On February 7, 2018, E’s teacher contacted the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection and reported that E had disclosed she was: scared to go home because her dad yells a lot, and her father yells at her to put away her toys, even though she already did.

The Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, noted that the matter was not investigated, as “there is no information suggesting that C.B. is not able to protect her children.” [ 40 ] In April 2018, following the alleged incident at a Scout’s meeting at the end of March 2018, a representative of the Minister of Community Services - Child Protection interviewed E. The following is a

summary of some of the relevant portions of the interview: E stated that she doesn’t want to play with her dad, and she doesn’t get along with her dad, so she will only colour with him but nothing else. That there are no rules at mom’s house because she doesn’t get in trouble. That she plays with pets at her dad’s house. … E stated that her dad only yells at her mom and doesn’t yell at her. That her dad yells loud sometimes and she is scared when he yells. That she doesn’t like it and doesn’t like loud sounds. That she talks to her mom when she feels scared.

She only remembers one time that her dad was yelling, and E stated someone called the police. That she was scared because her dad slammed the door, and she didn’t like that. That her dad slams the door a lot and does it at home. E said this makes her feel a little bit scared… E was five years old when she was interviewed in 2018. What is consistent throughout E’s disclosure is that she has heard her father yell and slam doors and it scares her. [ 41 ] On July 3, 2018, a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection interviewed E.

According to the case recording report, E stated in part: She gets along well with her mother, they cook supper together, cuddle, and play. Sometimes they do not get along and when this happens, they take some space from each other. Her dad and her get along sometimes and got along bad others. Her dad can be nice, but other times he is rude. She advised one time her mother wanted to kiss her, and her dad would not let her. Instead, he drove away. Mom and dad do not get along. Her dad fought with her mom. When this happens, he makes an angry face and his voice changes.

When asked for an example E stated that her dad yells “go away from my kids.” When dad is happy, he plays with R and E. They play on their bikes, tag, hide and seek, butterflies, and jump on the trampoline. Her father and her have fun playing games. … Her dad can get mad in public or at home. When this happens, he yells.

When asked if anything else happens when dad gets mad: E stated she did not want to talk about what dad does when he is mad and that she did not like it when he yelled. … In addition to the concerns E has raised, E does not hesitate to communicate that she has had some very fun times with her father. E’s comfort in reporting the good with the bad reduces concerns of improper influence and provides increased reassurance of reliability. [ 42 ] On August 7, 2018, a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection interviewed both E and R.

E reported in part: … E and R went to the lake with her dad for the weekend. They went on Sunday and slept the night in the trailer…they ended up leaving because dad was yelling at his mom and when this happened, she went ‘really fast’ to the car. That was the only time he yelled all weekend. … Dad had not been upset lately except at camping with his mom. …

She felt safe at her dad’s, but not when he is yelling. E rated her father’s yelling as a 5 on a scale of 1 to 5. [ 43 ] When interviewed by a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, N.I. denied he yelled at his mother. I accept E and R’s disclosures as more reliable than N.I.’s statement to the Minister’s representative.

I find N.I. minimized the extent of his emotional outburst. [ 44 ] On October 3, 2018, a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection interviewed E and she did not disclose any concerns; however, as noted above, R reported that his father “yells at him when he is running late in the morning” and that his dad sometimes yells at his mom, reporting that “this hasn’t happened for over a month.” I find that R’s comments are consistent with E not expressing any concerns at that time. [ 45 ] On February 7, 2019, a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection met with E, who stated in part: she had spent the previous evening with her dad and dad’s is awesome, and they watched a movie … she shared that R needed someone to talk to about being nervous in the dark… E also disclosed: …E and R were attempting to move a dresser from R’s room and dad yelled at them.

E expressed that it was ‘really heavy’, and dad didn’t want it moved. E explained that she cried, and dad said he was sorry lots of times. E also said she was sad for dad because he hurt his back moving the dresser. [ 46 ] E’s disclosure about N.I.’s elevated emotional reaction to their behaviour is consistent with R’s disclosure. Parents are not expected to be perfect, and it is understood that there are times when most parents will get frustrated with their children and perhaps react emotionally.

Although both N.I. and C.B. have contributed to the conflict the children have been exposed to, N.I.’s tendency to react explosively when frustrated and his parenting style add additional challenges for the children, exacerbating an already difficult situation. [ 47 ] On March 30, 2019, E’s counselor observed that E became quite tearful and reported: her father yells at her and this upsets her – and that he is usually angry with her.

E’s counselor also reported that during a session with E on February 19, 2019, E reported: her father had been angry with her for telling her friend that she had seen his penis at the swimming pool The counselor observed that E is often tearful within sessions and becomes overwhelmed with her emotions.

She suggested that E is a young child who requires further assistance in regulating her emotions and establishing coping strategies to deal with her personal circumstances. [ 48 ] Third party support persons have repeatedly observed that the children struggle to regulate their emotions, and they have suggested that the children need to develop coping strategies. In addition to therapeutic interventions, I feel both N.I. and C.B. would benefit from professional assistance, if for example N.I. would like to have some success instituting rules.

There is a fine balance to the art of being their “father and not their friend.” N.I. was cautioned that his parenting style may have a negative impact on his relationship with the children and I find that it has.

N.I. must seek professional help to assist him to learn new parenting skills to assist with the reunification process. [ 49 ] E’s counselor suggested: A child can learn coping skills in these types of circumstances, however, the parents must learn ways to alter their responses to each other and towards their children in order to move towards a calmer and less emotionally provocative day to day lifestyle. E’s parents may require individual work to assist them in minimizing high conflict type behaviours and to create a healthy co-parenting relationship.

The children will need both parties’ love, support, and respect, and not ultimatums. R, especially, is at an age and stage of development when he is expected to be striving for autonomy, freedom, and input into decisions that impact him. [ 50 ] It will not be sufficient for N.I. to just stop reacting explosively or to stop succumbing to his frustrations.

N.I. must learn to parent his children differently, to develop additional parenting skills, and to respond to his children’s needs and their feelings while still “being a parent to them.” [ 51 ] Assuming N.I. is willing and able to make the necessary changes, C.B. must refrain from telling the children they get to decide where they live , or they don’t have to do any work to try to address the problems in their relationship with their father.

It is both a privilege and responsibility to have care of the children, and C.B. must take all reasonable steps to ensure the children have an opportunity to reconnect with their father in a manner that ensures their best interests. There is no doubt that the loss of contact with their father has been a huge loss for these children. Regardless of the other support available to the children, they will only ever have one biological father. [ 52 ] In June 2020, a representative of the Minister of Community Services -- Child Protection interviewed E. The following is a

summary of E’s comments: That she is supposed to spend time with her father, however has been with her mother. That her father was yelling and that he yelled at his family. That her father yells often.

When the Minister’s representative inquired about what E meant by often, E stated: about once a month or every six weeks. That she felt nervous when “he yells.” E reported that there were no rules at her father’s home, however her father would yell when he “gets the feeling to.” That her father mostly yells at his family and it makes her want to cry. E indicated that she felt safe at her mother’s home.

When E was asked if she felt safe with at her father’s home E stated: “kind of, but not when he yells.” [ 53 ] On July 15, 2020, a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection contacted the children’s counselor. Their counselor indicated that she was working with R and E to help them “build coping skills.” The counselor reported that when E attended an appointment without C.B., she stated that: she wanted to see N.I. once per week with her paternal grandmother present so that if N.I. yells she can go somewhere else.

E reported that N.I. yelled at R more. [ 54 ] It is generally accepted that the presence of a parent while a child is being interviewed is likely to influence what the child will and will not tell the interviewer. Young children especially have a natural tendency to want to please their parent by saying what they think the parent wants them to say.

E’s disclosures support the conclusion that E loves her father very much but is experiences fear when he yells at others or at her. 1.1.3 N.I.’s reports [ 55 ] In December 2017, N.I. reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that the parties experienced further conflict, this time while they were attending teacher conferences for their children at the children’s school.

Specifically, a conflict arose between the parties about who was right or wrong regarding R’s teacher’s direction to R about his homework. [ 56 ] N.I. took the position that R was right and C.B. should speak to R to advise him he was right. N.I. alleged that C.B. had been yelling at R, suggesting he was not doing his homework properly and she made R cry. Subsequently, when the parties were about to go to E’s teacher conference, N.I. noticed that C.B. was videotaping him.

N.I. stated that he “asked C.B. repeatedly why she was videotaping him, and C.B. did not respond at any point or put the phone down.” N.I. explained: I eventually pushed the phone out of C.B.’s hands. I acknowledge I should not have done this, but I was upset. After this I went to the meeting and the applicant went to the principal’s office. N.I. stated that C.B. subsequently filed for a peace bond against him but later withdrew her application.

It is clear from N.I.’s version of this event that although C.B. was videotaping him apparently without his consent, N.I. was responsible for his reaction. [ 57 ] N.I. reported that C.B. had suggested to him that the children were afraid of him. Further, that the school would be contacting the RCMP and child protection services. N.I. reported that the children subsequently visited with him, and the school principal advised him, that to her knowledge, no staff person had contacted the RCMP or child protection services to report him.

The Minister’s records indicate that referrals were received from school staff on or about January 18, 2018 and February 7, 2018. [ 58 ] On or about April 26, 2018, N.I. reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that at the end of March 2018, an incident occurred at the children’s Scouts meeting. N.I. stated that both he and a Scouts leader called the police following the incident. N.I. acknowledged that in addition, an incident had previously occurred at a Scouts meeting held in October 2017.

He explained that at the Scouts meeting held at the end of March 2018: …this leader came up to him “confrontational and aggressive” and told him to leave stating she had “no time for this bullshit,” and he stood up for himself and then things hit the fan. That he swore and then left the building, but the Scouts leader followed him screaming. … He was embarrassed and left the school. He could not remember if the kids were present while he was yelling and swearing at the Scouts leader.

He stated it was all a blur and he couldn’t remember if the kids witnessed the incident. … He admitted that there is conflict when exchanging the kids. He stated that the conflict with C.B. sometimes involves yelling and screaming “as she looks for reactions out of him to use against him in court.” He is an emotional person, gets upset easily, and he yells but does not yell in front of the kids. N.I. stated the kids may have heard him yell out of frustration and that he often yells out of frustration.

N.I. stated he will explode and get angry because he is scared of someone taking the kids away… … He stated he was seeing a psychologist for anxiety and childhood abandonment issues. He indicated he had “distorted thoughts which makes a reality, such as someone taking the kids away.” He stated that he was learning how to not react to situations, and he was putting

the kids first. N.I. indicated he had signed an agreement with his therapist to prevent anyone from contacting her about their work together. [ 59 ] N.I. suggested the incident was all a “blur” to him and that he could not remember if the children witnessed his behaviour. With respect to the actions N.I. did acknowledge, he blamed C.B., suggesting that C.B. was trying to get a reaction out of him.

I find N.I.’s testimony with respect to the incident in March 2018 is a minimization of what likely occurred at that Scout meeting. [ 60 ] On June 27, 2018, N.I. complained to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, that C.B. “always got involved with his time with the children” and that she goes into “ghost mode” when she has the children.

N.I. stated that on the other hand, he does not go to the children’s baseball games when they are with C.B., as “C.B. gets him all riled up.” He indicated that he tries to walk away but “C.B. triggers him,” suggesting he gets triggered because C.B. always has her telephone with her during the children’s baseball games. [ 61 ] N.I. denied pushing C.B. while she dropped R off after his baseball game; however, he acknowledged he did “get between C.B. and the car door.” Whether N.I. pushed or blocked C.B., his behaviour was unacceptable and even more concerning because it occurred in the presence of the children.

None of N.I.’s explanations or rationalizations for his heated outbursts, for example: he stood up for himself; someone triggered him; he was trying to enforce rules and expectations; suggesting he is not his children’s friend but their father, are satisfactory explanations for N.I.’s failure to maintain control of his emotions. [ 62 ] On August 2, 2018, N.I. reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services - Child Protection his concern about some of C.B.’s personal emails which N.I. had opened on C.B.’s tablet, while R had possession of the tablet for R’s use at N.I.’s home.

N.I. acknowledged he worked in “IT” and suggested he found “emails with sexting and naked pictures,” which R could have gained access to as they were not password protected. N.I. reported in part: … He knows he shouldn’t have been snooping, but he wanted to make sure the children are safe and not exposed to things online. He admitted to contacting C.B. about this as he found it concerning. … N.I. expressed concern that C.B. is always on her phone. … He advised he cannot go to his child’s baseball games anymore because he gets so frustrated watching C.B. texting.

He suspects she may be sexting while the kids are in her care and at baseball games. He felt this was not normal behaviour. … N.I. advised he needed help and was always portrayed as the bad guy because of how he reacts… The Minister requested N.I. not have any contact with C.B. or engage with C.B. in front of the children.

N.I. advised that C.B. applied for a peace bond against him but her application was denied. [ 63 ] On August 3, 2018, N.I. texted C.B. stating in part: I’m sure you will hear about this when they call you to ask you to explain why our son has access to your sexting lifestyle and why you send naked pics of yourself to strangers while being a parent. Good luck. In the meantime, I’ll be working with child protection to get our son the help he needs. If you can tear yourself from your phone and get off your back… maybe, you can help.

N.I.’s exchange with C.B. was completely inappropriate and unnecessary. [ 64 ] On August 8, 2018, N.I. contacted a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, to share that “...He felt a lot of blame was put on him.” The Minister’s representative advised N.I. that it was concerning that both parents did not follow the department’s direction, however, the children had identified that N.I. was the one yelling and escalating during the altercations.

N.I. denied there was an altercation with his mother on the weekend but admitted there was a verbal escalation when C.B. came to his house to pick up the children instead of meeting N.I. at the Tim Horton’s where they were supposed to meet. The Minister’s representative requested N.I. contact a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection if C.B. initiated any further contact with him.

N.I. expressed concern about the difficulty he would experience arranging for a third party to facilitate access exchanges. [ 65 ] In August 2018, N.I. advised a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that he would agree to no longer have any contact with C.B. in the presence of the children, to attend a co-parenting course, and to attend counseling/anger management.

However, N.I. also stated in part: … Sure, me getting anger management classes may help but isn’t that avoiding the root issue of me being upset my kids are or seem to be neglected while in the care of their mother? I’m not sure any anger management classes will ever remove the passion I have for that matter stop me from getting upset. It’s almost like there is some vision of me just not caring about my children’s safety.

I’d rather see C.B. getting parenting classes than me getting anger management classes as this would address my concerns and to me the root issue of my stress. … N.I.’s comments alleging C.B.’s day to day parenting of the children was the real problem, relying for instance on what I find to be a ‘trumped up’ suggestion that C.B. was exposing the children to adult behaviour, suggests to me that N.I. was either unable to identify what a real risk to his children was or that he was being vindictive toward C.B. [ 66 ] In the evening on August 16, 2018, N.I. reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, emergency duty: … C.B. had shown up at the baseball field and was also watching the game.

He indicated that he had not engaged in any conversation or contact with C.B. but that he was unsure what to do. N.I. was directed to leave with the children but he objected to the Minister’s direction, feeling it was inappropriate to do so.

The Minister’s representative “conveyed to N.I. the Agency direction requesting that he and his children leave the sporting event immediately” and that N.I. not have any contact with his ex-partner, C.B. [ 67 ] The above noted incident was unquestionably difficult on both children, but perhaps more so for R who was forced to leave his playoff baseball game before it concluded. C.B.’s decision to attend R’s baseball game, contrary to agency direction and to her agreement not to attend the children’s events when they were in N.I.’s care, demonstrates her sense of entitlement to be at the children’s events.

It was wrong of C.B. to attend the baseball game under those circumstances, and I do not accept that she misunderstood the agency’s expectation. However, the catalyst for imposing the restriction on C.B. was clearly the Minister’s concern about N.I.’s reactions to C.B.

It was N.I.’s lack of ability to control his reactions to C.B. which was creating a situation where C.B. was being excluded from important moments in her children’s lives, and the children were being denied the benefit of having both parents at their extracurricular events. [ 68 ] On or about August 26, 2018, N.I. reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, that R had been injured and he had attended the emergency department as he had no other way to get updates about R’s injury.

N.I. reported that he spoke with R and left when C.B. threatened to contact child protection services. N.I. expressed concern that the day after R’s injury, C.B. dropped R at daycare and R’s babysitter contacted C.B. to pick R up because she could not provide R the care he needed. N.I. explained that subsequently C.B. contacted N.I. and arranged for R to be placed with N.I. as it was hard for R to walk and N.I. could carry him into N.I.’s house.

N.I. expressed concern about C.B.’s ability to care for R, reporting that she had put R in the shower with his cast. [ 69 ] Not an ideal situation, and the evidence does support a conclusion that C.B. was somewhat ill equipped to care for R whose entire leg was in a cast and that R had legitimate concerns about how everything was going to work out if he stayed with his mom after he was initially placed in his full leg cast; however, I find it understandable that C.B. might struggle with the situation and need to rely on others to assist her with R, and specifically on N.I. who was better able to care for R under those circumstances.

I find R was likely grateful to have his father’s support at that time. Unfortunately, N.I. has attempted to use this unfortunate situation as evidence of C.B.’s overall inability to care for R. Regardless, N.I.’s willingness to step in on this occasion and to provide support to R when C.B. was unable to provide the same level of support was the right thing to do.

I note N.I. also provided additional support to R on other occasions such as when R was scheduled to attend a new school. [ 70 ] On or about August 27, 2018, N.I. contacted a representative of Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, and he suggested that C.B. had not advised child protection services about the ‘full story’ of the sexting between her and another man on her email. N.I. forwarded some further emails to the Minister’s representative. [ 71 ] There is no evidence that either R or E ever gained access to C.B.’s personal email account.

The adult images in C.B.’s possession may have been difficult for N.I. to find, but I do not accept that there was ever a bona fide concern that C.B. would expose her children to adult images or behaviours. I do not think N.I. had any real concern either. N.I.’s choice to follow up with a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, providing photographic evidence to the Minister’s representative to support a finding that C.B. had minimized the adult nature of the photographs, suggests N.I. was intentionally trying to upset C.B., and/or N.I. was retaliating for perceived wrongs.

I do not accept that N.I. believed there was any real risk that the children would gain access to the adult content. N.I. saved copies of C.B.’s personal adult photos later sending them to C.B. and to others and his behaviour supports a conclusion that N.I. wanted to harass C.B., to get even with her, and/or to discredit her.

[ 72 ] On September 27, 2018, N.I. expressed concern to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that E’s guidance counselor had told him E had disclosed C.B. was saying she “can’t afford the children anymore and that daddy is stealing money from her.” N.I. also expressed concern that R had been sick two days in a row and when N.I. asked what was going on R stated: “he is scared and doesn’t want to get anyone in trouble,” and then R shared that his “mom opened a letter and started crying.” R reportedly overheard his mom saying, “she can’t afford?” and that N.I. was stealing money from her.

C.B. later suggested to Minister’s representative that she was speaking on the telephone in her bedroom about financial issues and the children must have overheard her. I accept R’s disclosure and I conclude that C.B. did inappropriately complain to R about N.I. and she did not take care to ensure that the children did not overhear her discussing her personal financial issues with others, and attributing her difficulties to N.I. [ 73 ] On October 11, 2018, N.I. advised a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that he was arrested for breaching a no contact order.

He stated: The children recently met a man C.B. was seeing personally. N.I. stated that he was concerned that C.B. was introducing the children to men so early and that he thinks this could affect them emotionally.

N.I. said that C.B. meets these men on fetish websites, and he is concerned that they are not appropriate… N.I. was crying while talking about this. … He stated that he texted C.B. about her introducing the children to another man, and she reported it to police. … No further evidence was provided to support N.I.’s belief that the children were at risk emotionally or otherwise due to C.B.’s personal relationships. [ 74 ] N.I. advised a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that: he was worried about the environment his children are in and what C.B. is exposing the children to.

The Minister’s representative noted that N.I. did not provide details about any risk to the children.

The Minister reviewed N.I.’s information and determined that his concern “does not relate to child protection concerns.” They found the information “does not suggest that the children are exposed to messages/chats” or that they are exposed to any inappropriate sexual acts by C.B. and her friends/associates. [ 75 ] On November 14, 2018, N.I. reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that after N.I. identified that the children needed weather appropriate clothing, and he advised C.B, that C.B. texted R to attempt to arrange to drop off his snow pants.

N.I. stated that on November 13, 2018, C.B. had dropped R’s snow pants off at N.I.’s house, and if “I were do to the same, I would be in the back of a police cruiser.” N.I. advised that he had contacted the police. C.B. responded to N.I.’s concern indicating she could not recall dropping off any clothing although she did recollect an incident when she was dropping R’s mask off to the children’s babysitter to avoid contact with R and N.I.

In any event, the fact that N.I. felt it was necessary to contact the police because C.B. contacted R and arranged to drop off a necessary item to R, especially after N.I. raised the concern that R did not have the item, raises serious concerns about N.I.’s judgement and the parties’ ability to co-parent. [ 76 ] On February 27, 2019, N.I. contacted a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection alleging that C.B. sent him an anonymous message through a notification tool.

He expressed concern that: she will find ways to not follow the no contact order via now anonymous and disruptive texts like an STD anonymous notification tool… I need this to stop, and CPS has done a great job of helping ensure this stuff stops but these type of anonymous messaging tools create opportunities for her to mess with my life all while hiding behind a keyboard.

There is no independent evidence that C.B. sent N.I. a message, but if she did, her behaviour was inappropriate. [ 77 ] Regardless of whether C.B. sent the notification or arranged for the notification to be sent to N.I, N.I. could have chosen to delete the message and not react.

In addition, given that N.I. had previously accessed C.B.’s personal email, copied her private images, and circulated those images to the Minister’s representative and to her sister and others, all without her consent, I am somewhat concerned that N.I. would not recognize the parallel between the situations and still feel it was appropriate and necessary to contact a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection to complain about C.B.’s alleged behaviour. Again, if C.B. was responsible for N.I. receiving the notification, then it was not an appropriate thing for C.B. to do.

I find that retaliation by either party is not in their children’s best interests. [ 78 ] On April 17, 2019, a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection telephoned N.I. to discuss concerns raised about him yelling at the children. N.I. reportedly explained: that he is the children’s parent and not going to be there to just be friends. That he doesn’t feel he yells at the children. N.I. did admit to being upset when they were moving a dresser upstairs. He explained that he wanted to set rules and expectations.

Parents must have many tools which they can use when parenting their children. There are many ways to try to enforce rules and expectations, -- yelling and screaming at children does not come highly recommended. Other approaches may require more forethought and skill but are more likely to help children learn valuable interpersonal skills and develop self esteem. [ 79 ] April 24, 2019, N.I. spoke to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection in response to concerns raised by the Minister’s representative: 1.

N.I. admitted to giving C.B. “the finger” while driving by her and that the children witnessed him doing it. He indicated he did it

out of frustration and his behaviour was not appropriate. 2. With respect to R’s disclosure about N.I. breaking the banister, N.I. acknowledged seeing R at the top of the stairs past R’s bedtime and suggested that he was startled by R and that he did question why R was not in bed. N.I. denied yelling at R, and he also denied breaking the stair banister. I accept R’s report that N.I. yelled at him and that based on N.I.’s behaviour, R believed his father broke or may have broken the banister. 3.

N.I acknowledged he was screaming, yelling, and cursing on the telephone at his home but stated he was in his room with the door closed when he was having the conversation. N.I. implied that he believed the children could not hear him. It is not plausible that the children were unable to hear N.I. yelling. Either N.I. was minimizing the situation or he has very little awareness of the impact his actions have on his children.

The evidence supports a finding that, in the heat of the moment, N.I. is oblivious to how his reactions may impact on the children. [ 80 ] On June 19, 2019, N.I. contacted a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, alleging that the day before their last court appearance, C.B.’s friend, T.M. had contacted N.I.’s girlfriend warning her against him. N.I. forwarded the screenshots to the Minister’s representative. N.I. suggested this was the “fourth girl C.B. and/or now her friends had reached out to”.

I accept N.I.’s evidence that C.B. and/or her friends were texting N.I.’s girlfriend(

s) and I find their behaviour to be inappropriate. N.I. stated: he had “been doing his hardest not to react…but posting online about me and the case I feel to be against the court order and now having her friend contact my girlfriend.” I find that C.B. did not always make sound decisions regarding her co-parenting relationship with N.I.

I do recognize there are many examples of times when C.B. did not encourage a positive co-parenting relationship with N.I. [ 81 ] Although it should not be necessary for the courts to do so, and it is not necessary with parents who are able to behave in a manner which most often promotes their children’s best interests, in this case I am granting an order prohibiting both parties from posting on social media any information regarding this matter or about the other party.

I am also granting an order prohibiting either party from facilitating the dissemination of information about the other party by any means whatsoever. [ 82 ] In July 2019, N.I. spoke with a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, reporting: …he applied for the child tax credit the Friday before ‘the incident’. C.B. had received a letter about his application. She then escalated and called him a ‘cunt’ and other colourful names. The weekend in question, both children had ball games at the same time.

It was a busy weekend and they agreed C.B. would take R to his game and he would take E as C.B. did not believe that either child should miss a game. He initially planned to cancel E’s game, but C.B. did not agree with this. They went to separate games and he wanted to meet afterwards to get R and she told him to ‘grow up’. He texted C.B. during R’s game and she stated it was going into overtime and going late. She then told him she was taking R to ice cream, and he asked her not to because N.I. wanted to be able to continue his Sunday tradition with the children. C.B. took R for ice cream anyway.

The parties usually meet at Tim Horton’s for custody exchanges, and they met there on that date. E and him were waiting in the car, but E asked to go sit on the grass to watch the cars, so that’s what they did. C.B. parked beside him, and she went to go get E. The lawyers had previously recommended the parties stay in their vehicles at access exchanges and let the children switch cars so C.B. and he would not need to interact. C.B. went into his car which surprised him. He tried to verbally correct her and she did not listen.

C.B. always tried to get involved with his time with the children and she goes into ghost mode when she has the children. C.B. texts him stating she plans to take the children away from him. … …then the police showed up at his house recommending third party drop offs. N.I. advised he couldn’t afford to do this. Police told him a hug was not worth it sometimes and felt the situation was inappropriate on both ends. He does not go to the children’s baseball games when they are in C.B.’s care because she gets him all riled up. He tries to walk away from her when she triggers him.

She is always on her phone during baseball games with the kids. … C.B. bullies him and she knows what buttons to push to upset him. … He denied pushing C.B., but he admitted to getting in between her and the car door.

… Everything was on tape at Tim Hortons and the police were getting the footage. … He felt she always called police before the weekends he has the kids. … The children gravitate towards C.B. and he understood this as she is their mother. Last Friday R got hurt and went to his mother to comfort him. R and him then talked about it and put ice on where it hurt.

C.B. then got R worried stating it may be broken… … N.I. went through similar things when he was younger with the police always at his home. … He knows he should not react, but sometimes he could not help it. … He was previously working with a psychologist, but legal fees were significant, he couldn’t afford it and he would rather spend any extra money he has on the children.

The Minister’s representative asked that C.B. and N.I. only communicate if there is an emergency involving the children and that custody exchanges occur through a third party. [ 83 ] On June 29, 2020, a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, interviewed N.I. regarding an alleged incident which happened on or about June 24, 2020. N.I. stated: In April 2020, C.B. withheld their children from him, alleging he was not following Covid 19 guidelines. That he has a “unique” relationship with his brother.

That his brother thought R was missing and N.I. woke in a panic at 7:30 am, to then find out that R was at his “aunt’s camp.” His brother was smoking cannabis at 8:00 am and he “found it inappropriate.” He later thought his brother was yelling at his daughter who was returning from a bike ride with his brother’s daughter, that this provoked him, and he’d had enough. N.I. admitted that he yelled at his brother and he “scared a lot of people.” He stated that his family members removed the children and took them to a different camp.

He stated that his mother did not want him to take the children and go home as he was angry. That he “cried on his way home with his children.” That he told his children why he was angry and that C.B. kept them away from him. That he had not threatened to kill his brother, rather he had threatened to punch him. Although N.I. did make some admissions to the Minister’s representatives, I find that N.I. still minimized the incident which occurred at his family’s camp in June 2020.

On cross-examination of both N.I.’s brother and eventually his mother, I find that they gave a more complete picture of the incident, with testimony more in line with R’s and E’s disclosures. [ 84 ] Although at trial N.I.’s mother, C.I., was initially reluctant to acknowledge that much of anything happened at the lake in June 2020, later in her testimony, C.I. acknowledged there was a very heated argument between N.I. and his brother.

She reported there was an argument and that N.I. left the trailer screaming and cursing and R “possibly saw it.” Further, N.I. “probably” said “get in the fucking car,” but that she did not witness N.I. packing items into the car. She acknowledged that the children were frightened and that she “heard words being said” as both her sons were threatening each other. [ 85 ] In June 2020, a representative from the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection reviewed the information obtained from the children’s interviews with N.I. when he had denied raising his voice or yelling at either of his children.

I do not accept that N.I. did not yell or speak in a harsh raised voice when telling the children to get in his car during the incident at the lake. I also find that N.I. yelled at multiple people very angrily and within earshot of his children. [ 86 ] On July 8, 2020, N.I. advised a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that he had learned he would not be able to access counseling services through his employer, that he would need to pay privately, and he could only attend counseling once or twice per month.

The Minister’s representative recommended N.I. participate in the IWK Strongest Families program, but N.I. later advised that he was told the program was only for the parent who had care of the children. [ 87 ] On July 22, 2021, N.I. wrote to C.B. through the Our Family Wizard program, stating in part the following: I’m interested in how R’s irrational fear help is going? Have you been able to help R to understand what that difference between fear and irrational fear is about?

Maybe you could use the example of thinking his father was going to kill them and then himself…or the time you posted online about a father you thought killed his daughter, as an example of irrational fear. Although I do have concerns about C.B.’s repeated suggestion that N.I. is suicidal, I also have significant concerns about how N.I.’s reactive behaviour would likely have fed into any fears C.B. or the children may have had about N.I.’s mental health

1.1.4 C.B.’s reports [ 88 ] In July 2017, C.B.’s counselor reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, that C.B. disclosed that: On June 27, 2017, N.I. took a bunch of relaxer pills and sent out a text message to C.B. saying that he was going to kill himself. He also made a Facebook post indicating he was going to commit suicide. That she called 911 and police found N.I. at a gravesite passed out. That N.I. was taken to emergency, assessed, and released.

C.B.’s counselor noted that N.I. subsequently engaged in counseling services and she was not concerned about N.I. being suicidal. [ 89 ] C.B.’s counselor advised the Minister’s representative that, although C.B. described N.I. as a good father who loves his children very much, C.B. had disclosed that N.I. yells at her in the presence of the children. The counselor expressed concern about the children’s mental and emotional health.

The Minister did not investigate the referral. [ 90 ] In September 2017, soon after C.B.’s counselor raised a concern with C.B. about N.I. yelling at her, C.B. suggested to that they change their parenting arrangement and N.I. have care of the children five nights out of fourteen.

N.I. sought to continue a 50/50 shared care arrangement. [ 91 ] In January 2018, the RCMP contacted a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection to report that C.B. had complained to them that E had missed a class that day as she “was crying too hard” and she spent time doing other fun things at school instead. C.B. advised police that E told her teacher that her father, N.I., “is mean to her and her brother R.” C.B. reported to the police that when she contacted N.I. to discuss the issue with him, he became upset with her.

The RCMP noted that they were advised that no bruises or marks were observed on the children and C.B. did not report any other changes in E’s behaviour. [ 92 ] On June 8, 2018, C.B. reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection that while she was attending E’s dance recital, she attempted to give R ten dollars for admission to the performance, and N.I. grabbed R and pulled him away stating “get the fuck away from my kid” in the presence of both children.

N.I. then threw the money at C.B.’s feet and called her a “fucking whore.” C.B.’s action, giving money to R presumably without checking in with N.I. first could be construed as interfering with N.I.’s parenting, but regardless of C.B.’s choice, N.I’s reaction was completely inappropriate under any circumstances. [ 93 ] On or about June 24, 2018, C.B. reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, that: the parties were exchanging the children at a Tim Horton’s and N.I. yelled at E for speaking with C.B.

N.I. then stated: “it’s not your fucking week” and threw E into his truck. He then pushed C.B. and she subsequently contacted the police. … The agency recommended that C.B. and N.I. not have any contact in the presence of the children and that they use a third party for pick ups and drop offs.

The Minister of Community Services – Child Protection initiated a new investigation. [ 94 ] On June 27, 2018, C.B. contacted a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, and she stated in part: …she was not attending her child’s baseball game that day because N.I. would be there and she is scared of him.

She advised that she and N.I. have a history of family violence and he has pushed, hit her, grabbed phones from her, etc. … She stated that N.I. was no longer paying child support because she had called the police. … C.B. advised she would not attend the children’s events at this time if he was there.

She advised N.I. was hateful and other parents and children often see his behaviour towards her including yelling and swearing. [ 95 ] When the representative from the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection contacted C.B. she reported in part: N.I. had contacted her the previous week, losing it because Community Services was involved. Yesterday he had begged her to join him to take R to Brigadoon…she advised N.I. swore in front of the children yesterday and he was toxic. She advised N.I. does not get how their relationship and conflict is impacting the children and N.I. felt he knew everything.

The Minister’s representative advised C.B. that the Department was asking the parties not to have any contact except for emergencies (i.e children in the hospital) and that arrangements be made so that custody exchanges happen through a third party… [ 96 ] On July 26, 2018, the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, decided to open a file in relation to the parties and their children. [ 97 ] On August 2, 2018, C.B. reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, that: N.I. had looked through her email on her tablet which R was using at N.I.’s home.

N.I. reportedly objected to intimate electronic messages he was able to access on C.B.’s tablet. C.B. reported that N.I. was sending pictures to her stating she was a ‘slut’ and that ‘he was taking my kids away from me, saying I can’t keep my legs closed’.

C.B. provided the Minister with various text messages sent to her by N.I. on or about August 1, 2018. Examples of the comments from N.I. sent to C.B. by text included but were not limited to: your gross; stay the fuck away from me; slut; you’re going to lose your kids because of what you are doing right now; I’m literally shaking; this is what you ruined our family for, this shit; you’re not fit to be a parent; you need to be single and alone so you can live this lifestyle you want; And fyi. I don’t what you back; your gross.

Stay the f away from me and my kids; got no money for the kids but can spend gas driving all over N.S. to fuck guys… C.B. expressed concern about her safety and the safety of the children who were with N.I. at that time. [ 98 ] The police attended at N.I.’s home to retrieve C.B.’s tablet. C.B. later advised: there are times they both go to R’s baseball games and recently he came over and grabbed her drink and drank it.

She tries not to engage with him, but it is difficult when he impulsively comes towards her. [ 99 ] A representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, requested that C.B. and N.I. not have any contact in the presence of the children and that all contact, including access exchanges, go through a third party. C.B. advised that she had received four more messages from N.I. saying if she ‘doesn’t respond to him that he will call CPS to deal with the situation.’ The Minister requested C.B. contact an agent if N.I. initiated any further contact with her.

C.B. agreed all access exchanges would occur through a third party. [ 100 ] On August 9, 2018, C.B. contacted a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection to clarify “whether or not she should go” to E’s last baseball game that evening although the children were in N.I.’s care. She was reminded that the Minister had requested and the parties had agreed C.B. would not have contact with N.I. in the presence of the children.

The Minister’s representative advised C.B. against attending. [ 101 ] C.B. later reported to a representative of the Minister of Community Services that R had asked her to attend his “playoff game,” and she attended although it was N.I.’s night with the children. C.B. explained that while she was at R’s baseball game: E came over to C.B. and asked her to help her in the bathroom. Which C.B did. As she walked to the bathroom, N.I. called E over, E said just wait daddy I need to poop. He at that time got up and called someone.

After E was done at the bathroom, C.B. walked over to her seat and continued to watch the game. E came running over to C.B. in hysterics because N.I. was pulling R from the ball game and E was not allowed to talk to C.B… and N.I. wouldn’t let R even say goodbye to C.B. [ 102 ] On August 20, 2018, a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection contacted C.B. and once again asked that C.B. not attend any of the children’s functions when they were in N.I.’s care.

C.B. explained that R had asked her to attend his baseball game stating “he was making the choice and wanted her to be there.” [ 103 ] The Minister’s representative advised C.B. that N.I. was directed to leave the baseball game by the Minister’s representative and that the incident had a negative impact on the children. C.B. agreed she would not “escalate the situation.” C.B. was reminded she was being asked not to have contact with N.I. when he had the children in his care. [ 104 ] On or about August 21, 2018, R broke his leg while in C.B.’s care.

C.B. contacted a representative of the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, and she stated that: N.I. attended at the emergency department and stated to C.B. “what the fuck happened?” He then advised C.B. that if she wasn’t such a “slut” sexting men, then the incident wouldn’t have happened.

Obviously, the comments attributed to N.I. were entirely inappropriate and in addition, N.I. had been directed not to have contact with C.B. while the children were in her care. [ 105 ] On August 29, 2018, a representative from the Minister of Community Services – Child Protection, spoke with C.B. regarding N.I.’s concerns that she had not fully disclosed the extent of adult content in her emails. C.B. clarified that the incident N.I. was referring to specifically happened when R accidentally walked in on both C.B. and N.I. having sex, and this was before E was ever born.

The Minister’s representative was satisfied with C.B. “committing to not sexting or having sex in front of the children.” [ 106 ] On October 9, 2018, C.B. reported to a representative of the Minister of

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